When God’s Will Doesn’t Go My Way

“It’s not over.”

Three words that halted my busy steps. In a sea of toys, I looked up from the email a friend had just sent me. His urgency trickled through technology as I read, “Don’t settle! Don’t be afraid to believe the crazy!”

God’s Spirit went off like an alarm clock in my soul, Wake up! All of those dreams you once had, remember those? He sounded. It’s not over.

More than a decade earlier, I had loaded my life into a car and headed north. There, on the Great Lakes in Ohio, God started my story with Luke. We had wedding gifts and a dog and our first home in Cleveland with nothing to put inside.

When I stretched my legs out onto the driveway, our new neighbors welcomed me like family. That empty house overflowed with possibilities.

In the days that followed, we dreamed of where our future babies would sleep. I cooked up our first dinner. We decked our first Christmas tree and celebrated the news of our first child. Joy filled every corner. Hope hung from the ceilings. Dreams danced within the walls.

But God’s plan didn’t quite go according to mine.

Eight months later, amidst a late-April blizzard, our phone rang with the news, “You’re flying south. You’ve just been traded to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.” One day later, we boarded a plane for Florida, and the dancing slowed down.

Since then we’ve moved a dozen times. Now it seems we don’t stay in one place longer than a few months.

Reality trampled my tidy dreams. Empty homes felt hollow and cold. I barged through the door like a robot with my list of things to do and begged God to fill each place with something other than my disappointment.

House set ups and tear downs lulled me to sleep-walk through life.

Created in Christ’s image, I took His beauty and rocked it to sleep. I showed up each day, only to go through the motions. A life protected from pain but aching from dissatisfaction. After so many things go wrong, it begins to feel like you dreamed wrong.

Sure, I still prayed and treated each move like an adventure, but I lost my expectation. That edge of your seat, what might God do next, kind of anticipation.

God’s Word tells us of how God rescued the His people, the Israelites, from slavery in Egypt.

He led them to a land hand-picked for them. He set this land apart for their enjoyment and pleasure, because He loved them. They were His children. He promised this land as a place of security and rest.

With miracles around every corner, God provided for His people’s needs as they journeyed through the wilderness to get there. But when they came upon the land guaranteed for them, some spies scouted the place and returned with this,

‘We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!’” Numbers 13:31b (NLT)

The entire Israelite community wailed with confusion and ultimately forfeited their God-given inheritance. Reality crashed their Promised Land party.

They expected to walk right in. But when pressure (in the form of a bunch of big people and tall walls around the cities) pushed them back, what was once a sure thing fell apart. The Israelites plotted to get rid of Moses and go back to Egypt. Slavery sounded better than stepping out in faith.

Has reality crushed your dreams? Have you stopped expecting God’s presence and power because of disappointment?

When God’s will doesn’t go our way, we have two options. Refuse or choose to trust the Master Builder.

He sees the finished work. He knows where you’re going and the best way to get there. And He wants you to be a part of it.

God used that email from my friend to open my eyes and make them gleam with fresh light. My eyes didn’t sparkle because we won a lot of games that season … we didn’t. Or because Luke got to play … he didn’t. God didn’t even reveal a future full of certainty.

Instead, my light beamed from a renewed spirit. I saw God at work all around me. And I began to hope for more.

Dear God, I want to choose to trust You today. Renew a right spirit within me. And fill my heart with hope for all You are doing in me and around me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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Through all of the uncertainties and surprises of NFL life God has taught me a secret to living sure even when the future is not, and I want to share it with you! Join me at the She Laughs women’s conference May 13-14 in Mesquite, Tx. We’ll look at the the Proverbs 31 woman and discover how her heart’s preparation, position and pursuit lead her to a life, “clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future” (Proverbs 31:25).