3 Questions to Help You Know When to Say Yes

“You have to take something off of your plate.”

My sweet husband sat next to me in the car and observed my depleted state. We were preparing to lead an event together in just a few days. It was something good. Something we wanted to do for the glory of God and the good of God’s people. But as I sunk low in the seat and my weakness of both mind and body overcame me I began to question my decision.

I know I don’t like to feel overloaded, and I want to say yes to the right things and no to everything else. But sometimes I need a roadmap to help me know which one is which. So with Jesus as our example, let’s look at 3 questions to ask ourselves before we say yes or no.

Am I saying yes because of other people’s feelings or expectations?

In John 11, we see Jesus make a decision. Maybe even a surprising one,

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.” (John 11:5-6)

In verse 3 we read that Martha and her sister, Mary, sent word to Jesus to tell Him Lazarus was ill. Later, after Lazarus had died and been buried for 4 days, Martha reveals her heart when she says, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21)

By all accounts Mary and Martha sent for Jesus because they wanted Him to come heal Lazarus. Jesus would have known their desires, and yet the desires and expectations of His friends did not determine Jesus’ decision. Instead, he stayed 2 days longer where He was.

Am I saying yes because of my own feelings?

After staying 2 more days where He was, when Jesus arrived at the scene he found heartache and mourning. Mary and Martha both expressed their hope that Jesus would have come in time to heal Lazarus. When Jesus saw Mary weeping, the Bible says He was “deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.” (John 11:33) And when they took Jesus to Lazarus’ tomb, He wept.

Jesus did not linger because He did not care. He loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus and as Scripture records it Jesus’ heart ached just as their hearts did. Yet still, Jesus’ own feelings weren’t enough to move Him to say yes immediately when Mary and Martha sent for Him.

Am I making this decision because I believe this is God’s will?

Long before this decision-making moment in John 11, Jesus had made up His mind what would be a yes and what would be a no.

For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.” John 6:38

In one sentence Jesus revealed the filter through which all of His decisions flowed. And we, too, can give a confident yes and a confident no when we filter our decisions through God’s will.

This year let’s choose to say yes to God and no to everything else.

It sounds simple, but maybe you’re like me and thinking, how can I be sure I know God’s will? Let’s use Romans 12:2 to help us answer that question.

Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.” Romans 12:2 (GNT)

Don’t conform. Let God transform.

To know God’s will we have to separate ourselves from the patterns and standards of the world and replace them with God’s Word. The more we get into God’s Word, the more He transforms us from the inside out – renewing our minds and leading us into His good, pleasing and perfect will. And that’s exciting!

If we want to be better decision makers, let’s choose to regularly read the Bible and let that be our very first choice to say yes to God and no to everything else.