Feeling Unsatisfied?

A few nights ago I flipped on one of my favorite design shows. With the kids fast asleep and all my chores done for the day I nestled into the covers and soaked up a little rest and relaxation. I enjoyed the show, but the more I watched the more I noticed something ugly.

Instead of focusing on the transformation going on inside this house, I couldn’t get past the show’s host. She’s adorable. I love watching her, but this time I couldn’t look without comparing. I dissected her arms. Where is the fat? Nothing wiggles or jiggles. That ball started rolling and gained speed on its way down the hill. All of a sudden I sat extremely discontented with myself.

Something that started so innocent sucked me into a quicksand of comparison and dissatisfaction.

Dissatisfaction with what? With God. Because it’s God who made me, who created me just as I am. It’s God who’s handiwork I criticized.

That moment took me back many years ago, when I decided, once and for all, to follow Jesus. See, I grew up in church. I remember the day at 6-years old when I answered yes to Jesus’ call to salvation. But, as I aged, I grew in confidence in myself, not my Savior. I orchestrated a pretty nice life for myself. I ran for things and won. I served as president of this and captain of that. After graduating college I secured a great job and quickly climbed the ladder of success.

It all looked sunny on the outside. But inside, it just wasn’t good enough. This world threw me all it had to offer, yet my longings remained unfulfilled.

So, I stood in my room and held my Bible, the one I’d said I believed all my life. Yet I lived my way, not God’s. I built a life on my terms with my strength and my goals, not consulting God and certainly not trusting Him. And when I got all I wanted, I realized, it’s not good enough. And never will be.

So, that day, I decided I wanted more, and I trusted God to give it to me. Not more earthly gain, but the satisfied soul I longed for. And I tell you my story today in case you’re in that place.

I think Valentine’s Day can sometimes highlight the unsatisfied longings in our souls. Movies and magazines paint their ideas of romance, and it prompts us to compare, like I did with the design show. We take a made-up fantasy or half-told perspective and stack it up next to our reality, and it deflates us. We feel unloved or unimportant, and we look around for more.

My story is one of longings fulfilled by the love of Jesus. I pray, if you long to be fulfilled, you’ll leave all the world has to offer and lean on the strong arms of Jesus. I can tell you from experience, nothing compares to His embrace.

My soul overflows with satisfaction, as when I feast on foods rich in marrow and fat;
    with excitement in my heart and joy on my lips, I offer You praise.” Psalm 63:5 (VOICE)