Fighting a Battle That’s Already Won
*This post, written by guest writer Abby McDonald, is the 2nd of 8 in the “Names of God” series.
“It isn’t a good fit for us.”
The unexpected words stung. I read them a different way. “You’re not good enough.”
I scanned the email again looking for further explanation. Maybe I didn’t follow the guidelines, made a huge grammatical error, or forgot something I was supposed to include?
In my heart, I knew this wasn’t the case. I edited and re-edited before submitting the piece. I thought it was perfect, but apparently it wasn’t.
Sitting on the bed with my legs crossed beneath me, I deleted the email and closed my eyes. The glow of the screen shined against me. Within seconds, I slipped back into my ninth grade skin. Cheerleading try-outs.
My timid high school frame scanned the list of names that made the cut, hoping to find mine somewhere in the sea of yeses. It wasn’t there.
Then, in a flash, I was listening to my band teacher call out chairs for the brass section. I wanted to be in the top three. As I listened to name after name called ahead of me, I realized I wasn’t.
It took only a few words in an email to raise all of my insecurities to the surface, and I realized I’d fallen into an old habit again: the habit of striving.
Because, after all, how could I be good enough just the way I was?
If I had a bigger platform, a publisher would notice me. If I received regular pay, I would be a real writer. I kept striving for that next accolade. One I thought I needed for acceptance. Even God’s?
But the striving didn’t stop there. It continued within the walls of my church, in playgroups with other moms, and in my son’s school activities. I convinced myself that if I was a better mom, my preschooler wouldn’t struggle to sit still during story time. Or if I was a better church-attendee, I would take on more responsibilities.
In this season of celebrating the birth of a God who chose to be with us let us remember – He could have been anywhere else in the universe, but he chose to be with his people. A people who would reject him.
He sent the spotless Lamb of God, his perfect sacrifice, as an atonement we could never attain. Do we really believe that? Do I?
For a season, I forgot. I strove for a love I could never earn, a grace I will never fathom.
Instead of accepting what was freely mine, I fought for it.
Friends, there is nothing we can do to earn God’s love and grace. He sent his son for us not because we deserved it, but because He wanted a relationship with us that much.
John understood this. His entire earthly ministry served to point others not toward himself, but toward Jesus.
Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world!” John 1:29 (NIV)
John knew he could not do Jesus’ job. He simply cleared the way for Jesus to do the work.
I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord.’” John 1:23 (ESV)
They asked him if he was a prophet. He said, “No.” They asked if he was the Messiah. He denied every claim that he was anything more than a vessel to lead others toward the truth.
Dear one, this truth can set us free. Free from struggling to attain what is already ours. Free from striving for approval we’ve already been given.
True freedom comes when we realize there is nothing we can do to make God love us any more or less. The Lamb of God has done it all.
Once we realize this glorious truth, the light within us is magnetic. And I can assure you, others will notice it.
If you’re fighting for God to see you today, can I encourage you to give up the battle? Rest in the peace of His embrace. His “yes” is already yours.
Abby McDonald is mom, wife and southern girl who fell in love with writing at a young age. She started Fearfully Made Mom because she felt God gently pushing her to share her writing with others who may feel alone in their struggles with self-doubt, accepting God’s grace, and finding their identity in Christ. Her desire is to show women they are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who will relentlessly pursue them, even during their darkest times.
When she’s not chasing her two little boys around, Abby enjoys hiking, photography, reading, and consuming copious amounts of coffee with friends.
Abby would love to connect with you on her blog, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.
This series birthed from a “Names of God” ornament set my family and I love. So, I’m giving away a set of these ornaments next week on Wednesday, December 24. Subscribe to my blog via email (box at the top of the right hand column) to be entered to win! And come back all week for more giveaways!
Love this Abby! I was there with you in every rejection. Praise God, we don’t have to do a thing to earn His acceptance, instead He asks for ours.
Amen, Christy! So grateful he accepts me just the way I am.
This reminded me of 1Corinthinas 1:20 “For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.” Many times, I find I need a focus adjustment. Zooming in on Christ is the BEST way to get our focus off ourselves. When we pursue living out all God called us to, we can find comfort in the fact that all the stuff we go through(even the earthly rejections) are HIS design to draw us nearer to Him and grow us in grace and knowledge of HIM!! 🙂
I was thinking about that verse earlier, too, Christy! Love that one. Yes, these rejections serve a purpose too and I am seeing that more along the way. Thanks for visiting!
I absolutely loved this post Abby and I think I also really needed this today so THANK YOU. Much love to you, friend. Grateful our paths have crossed in this lovely blogging world. <3
Me too, Beth. I am so glad God encouraged you through the words and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, friend.
Thank you for being so authentic Abby and putting words to what so many of us experience each and every day. And thank you for sharing powerful truths that we can use to replace the lies we believe!!
Thank you for your kind words, Wendy! I am so grateful his power is made perfect through my weakness.
Amen Abby! I have sat right in that place of rejection, right with you. A place that makes you feel like you aren’t worthy. And, you really nailed it – we are not. All our striving is not required. Loved it!
I’m so glad I don’t have to walk this road alone, Sister! We are in this together. 🙂
Amen and Amen Sister! So need to hear this today 🙂 You are a treasure! “Once you understand His precious worth, then you will begin to understand yours” -Briana Bowdino, lostwithouthim.org
Amen to that. So true. Thank you for sharing and visiting today!
This is beautiful, Abby! I can so relate to the striving and forgetting that I’m enough because HE’S enough. Thank you for the reminder!
Thank you for visiting, Anita! Yes, He is enough and it’s only in him that we find true rest. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas.
Beautifully written! Thank you so much for sharing. So totally true. We are continuously questioning ourselves, our talents, our abilities. Whereas God has us just exactly where He wants us, using the talents that He has specifically chosen for us, all of which are more than good enough!
Amen to that, Liz! He is forever faithful. I’m so grateful I don’t have to figure it all out.
“Within seconds, I slipped back into my ninth grade skin.”
Whoa, Abby, this line stopped me in my tracks. This sentence instantly took me back to times in my life where I developed an emotional “skin”. How quickly those “skins” can recover me even after all these years. Thanks for the reminder to daily cover myself with the “peace of His embrace.”
Love, Renee
#shespeaks14
#raralinkup
It’s amazing how quickly we can go back to those moments, isn’t it? I’m so grateful that Jesus loves me just the way I am, and I don’t have to prove myself to him because of what he already did. Thank you, friend. Much love to you and Merry Christmas!
Dear Abby…Just had to say that! 🙂 Just tonight, I sat and listened, at the edge of my seat, as a dear friend shared her testimony at Celebrate Recovery at my church. She transparently spoke of the effects of a very similar account of insecurity. I will be sharing this with her tomorrow. Wow!
And concerning that email you received just a few weeks ago…I will leave you with two words:
THEIR LOSS!!! 🙂
Thank you, Yolanda. That is so encouraging to me to hear you’ll be sharing it with your friend. My brother was in Celebrate Recovery for almost a year and it was such a blessing to him. Thank you for your encouraging words here.
Oh, and I’m so glad that His “yes” is already mine! I really, really needed to hear just that today, Abby. And you keep writing…because your words are making a difference. In my life and so many others. You speak truth and you speak it in love and we need every word God gives you. I do. I love you and I’m so glad you wrote this for ME today. <3
You know how faithful God is? A couple of days after the rejection he sent me some good news. I will will tell you about it soon. 😉 Thank you for your continual encouragement, sister. You are such a blessing to me and others.
Abby, your story could be mine. I was sandwiched between two very high-achieving sisters and constantly compared myself to their accomplishments. At one of my lowest moments, my mom & dad told me that while my sisters might have certificates & awards, my heart for others compared to none & it was something they treasured about me. For maybe the 1st time, I felt like I had an identity that was mine. Can’t say that was the end of insecurity for me, but it certainly went a long way in making me feel special & valued for who I am, knowing that God is the one who created my heart & placed it in me for a purpose. Thank you for being so open & sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing that, Linda. I love how your parents recognized and praised you for being who your truly are. What a blessing. Praying that we both continue to see how treasured we are in Him.