How to Handle Pain
You agree it hurts, but your attempts to make it better only increase the pain. Ever been there?
A few weeks ago a piece of glass sliced through the bottom of my daughter’s foot. She shrieked in pain and came looking for me. Her brothers’ stories put the puzzle of what happened together. Not to mention she refused to walk.
She spent most of the day sitting. When she wanted to go somewhere she called, “Mom! Carry me!” The few times she tried to walk she propped her foot on its side and hobbled around slowly and awkwardly.
Her foot hurt.
I clenched my tweezers and explained my plan. She nodded her head. She wanted the pain to stop, so she extended her little leg and let me hold her foot. But every time I touched anywhere close to the wound she winced and pulled her leg away from me screaming, “It hurts! It hurts!”
I appealed to her several times. I know it hurts, but if you let me pull the glass out it won’t hurt anymore.
I watched her struggle. She wondered, could she trust me? What if it didn’t feel better? What if it only hurt worse?
She chose to trust me and bravely put her foot in my hands. She grit her teeth and shivered, but praise the Lord, I clutched the glass and extracted it from her foot.
Her pain stopped. Almost immediately. She smiled and laughed. She hugged me and her precious 3-year old voice thanked God for helping us get the glass out of her foot.
She was free.
… first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5 (ESV)
As I worked to locate the glass and remove it from my daughter’s foot I realized, I had no idea how she felt. I couldn’t feel her pain. I had no idea how bad it hurt. I knew with certainty it would feel better, but she didn’t.
My voice softened and patience lengthened as I connected to her state of vulnerability. And it hit me. The only reason she trusts me is because I’ve proven my love to her time and time again.
If a stranger held her hurting foot she would likely fight. Resist. Refuse.
No matter how well intentioned the stranger, no matter how qualified, my daughter would retract because skills and solutions speak nothing without love.
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Corinthians 13:1 (NLT)
Spiritual and emotional pain is no different.
When we approach a friend, pierced by sin or aching in pain we must start with love. Our skills and solutions speak nothing without love. With soft voices and patient hands we must prove our love and gain her trust. Only then will she offer her hurt to the healing hands of the Great Physician.
Stay the course. It may take longer than you thought. You may tire of seeing the one you love hobble through her days in pain. But,
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NLT)
Life cuts deep. Wounds cripple our hearts. But God’s love conquers all.
Has a friend handled your pain with God’s love and gentleness? Leave a Comment!
