Pursuing Peace
I walked out the door in a hurry. Mostly because for the last ten minutes Luke repeatedly told me to get out.
My birthday rolled around again. It does that every year it seems. This year, I asked for a pedicure – with the unspoken word “alone” embedded in the message. Luke granted my request with an eager heart and threw in a “take the whole day” cherry on top. So, when the clock turned to 8:30 a.m. the morning of my birthday, and I was still in the house, Luke started pushing me out.
But when I walked outside the limousine parked behind my car brought my steps to a screeching halt.
“Luuuuuke,” I yelled on my way inside, “What is going on?”
With a mischievous smirk he let me in on the plan he’d been working on for days now. The limo will take you to Dallas. Shop, eat, and go to the spa. I’ll see you tonight.
There I sat. No kids, dishes, laundry or list of to-dos. No demands to meet. No details to arrange. Nada. All I had to do was breathe. So I did. I took a big, deep breathe. I smiled and settled back in my chair. The stillness spelled P-E-A-C-E.
That two minutes, or so, was awesome ….
But before the driver could turn north towards Dallas I put the hamster back on the wheel in my brain and let him loose.
Is he going to turn in front of that car? I better buckle up. And so it began. The rest of the ride up I balked from time to time. What is he doing? How fast is he going? Is he texting and driving?!
I could hear Luke’s voice in my head begging me to relax. You’re missing the whole point.
Decision time. Luke wrapped peace and pampering in a shiny black car and laid it in the driveway. All I had to do was get into the limousine. And I did. But once that door shut behind me, it was now up to me. I had to choose to enjoy the gift.
And my eyebrows raise at the thought: I can actually create my own state of tension and exhaustion. Anywhere. Anytime. I don’t like where this is headed.
My awareness promoted at least a fight to put the hamster in his place. At the spa they soaked me, scrubbed me, peeled and painted me. I left exfoliated and rejuvenated.
Then the day after the spa happened. In a nutshell: Total anarchy.
The kids held a secret midnight meeting and decided to try to unseat me from my position of authority over them. It’s the only logical explanation for what went on here. Weeping and gnashing of teeth. Kicking. Screaming. The mother of all melt downs (by me and them).
And I giggle, because I’m thinking the same thing you are. What does this have to do with peace? And please don’t imagine this crazy house of people with hands joined singing “Amazing Grace” as we lay down our troubles and dish out hugs. Not even close.
But as the day wore on I noticed something inexplicable …. a smile. On my face and theirs.
Somehow, after a day so treacherous it prompted Luke to proclaim renewed confidence in his decision to have no more children, I mustered a smile. Even a laugh.
Stress in the limo while I ride to the spa. Peace in the kitchen while all of my little blessings fight over where to sit. This seems backwards. What gives? And then I realized,
Peace is not an arranged place or set of circumstances; it is an intentional position of the heart.
It’s the difference between my toddler standing in front of his daddy crying and screaming and stomping his feet, and this …
A head rested on a solid shoulder. A storm calmed underneath a strong arm. A little boy secure in his daddy’s grip.
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, … Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, … singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:15-16 (ESV)
Strife can strike. Anywhere. Anytime. Or Peace can rule. Anywhere. Anytime. With His word in your heart and a His song on your lips, you make the call. I pick peace!
Have you found peace? What keeps you in His grip? Leave a comment!
I can’t tell you how much I needed this Katy. I can totally relate to the self made chaos that goes on in our Mommy minds. But what a comforting scripture, thank you so much for sharing your experience. And Happy Belated Birthday by the way! Love you guys!
Thanks Janelle! I love that scripture, too! “Self made chaos” — you nailed it!!
Apparently, my kids gather to have this same midnight meeting!!! During our next “weeping and gnashing of teeth kind of day”, I will remember to intentionally position my heart toward peace. Thank you for this scripture! I must etch the word “let” in my mind! Awesome as always! Happy Birthday! 🙂
LOL! “LET” …. I’m gonna etch that in my mind too.
Love this post Katy! You paint a great picture of how we choose whether we ride the waves of stress or rest in God’s peace that He promises. Love you friend! Happy belated birthday!
Love you too friend! Love hearing from you and blessed to share life with ya.